good things

Today I wore a soft sweater. Sweaters are my favorite, and when they're soft it's even better.

The sound of my fingers on the keyboard is one of my favorites too. The click, click, click, tapity tap. Each hit sends energy through the air, nudging my ear drums, stimulating thoughts and quick breathing.

Old music makes me happy: The recollection of memories ignited in the brassy tones and crooner voices, each one colored differently than the last.

Hipster pictures inspire me. They make me feel curious and wild, free and loving. If I was a hipster picture I'd be about love and adventure.

I love Christmas. Christmas is the best. The smells, the laughter and food and songs, the family. It's absolutely beautiful.

Good things are easy to come by. All you have to do is open your eyes and smile, and suddenly, everything is good.

--P.A.

Pencils, knives, and other things that hurt.

Words: lies
Words forgotten
Bright lights in the morning
Ice on a burn
Burns
Bee stings
Broken promises
Disapointment
Walking on a foot that is asleep
Standing for 4 hours straight
Gossip
Admiration not given sincerely
When the internet doesn't work
The retalization when Christmas is over that you have to go a whole year until you can have it again
Waking up
Feeling incapable
Feeling infereior
Feeling alone
Stepping on a lego
Realizing you'll never go to Hogwarts
Being ignored
Being forgotten
When something means a lot to you, but no one understands
Realizing no one is listening when you're telling a story
Missing someone
Hesitating and missing out on something
Heartbreak
When someone turns off the car before the song is done playing

 

--P.A.

Look at it.

So I have a tumblr. Kind of a guilty pleasure of mine. Whatever. Mostly I use it to post quotes and hipster pictures and disney fluff. It's pretty swell. You can look at it if you would rather pictures of words instead of the words on here. Sometimes our favorite pictures and quotes can tell more about us than our own words.
Words get so jumbled up and mixed around and are confusing when they stumble out of my mouth.

bestthingsincesocks.tumblr.com

That's right. The best thing since socks. And socks are pretty dang cool.

--P.A.

More

I am a dreamer, I am a believer.
I am a romantic, I am a thinker.
I love Love and I hate confrontation.
I am a talker and a listener.
I am a dancer and a walker and a 2 in the morning pacer.
I adore smiles and am addicted to pleasant textures.
I love good masculine smells, and I love when I can smell Christmas in my house.
I am a happy person.
Sometimes days are long and not really fun, but I get over.
I have things I'm working toward, and those are always much more important than the trivialities of my day-to-day existence.
But at the same time, I live day-to-day. I live in the moment and in the hour and in the evenings when I get to sit and think and laugh.
I love to laugh.
And sometimes laughing is hard, but I do it anyway, because what's the point of dwelling in unpleasantness?
There is no point.
Only pencils and knives and other things that hurt have points.
So I just smile and laugh and continue to work on my dreams because
I am a dreamer,
a believer,
a romantic,
a thinker,
a lover,
a talker,
a listener,
a dancer, walker, 2 in the morning pacer.
I am all of this and more.
You are all of this and more.
More than just words on a page and pictures in an album.
We are more than they tell us we are, and don't forget it, because where you're concerned, I will always want more.

--P.A.

If I am a book

If I am a book:
-re-read me
-hold me close
-fold my corners, but be gentle
-read your favorite chapter at least 3 times a year
-ponder the words on the pages that are there for your consumption
-seek the meaning
-cherish the images
-read my words out loud in silly voices, in serious voices, in your voice
-ask others what they think about me, see if you agree or if you have different interpretations
-get mad about the upsetting parts
-but make sure you don't grow bitter
-remember I'm always re-writing and editing my content
-sometimes an edit is just correcting a spelling error, or replacing one word
-sometimes it's erasing a whole chapter
-but remember that sometimes those chapters need to be put into the past, read only to remind you how far I've come

If I am a book, don't set me on a self to collect dust. Take me down and keep me on your bedside table and read me when you're sad, when you're happy, when you're lonely and need a friend, or even when you're not really feeling anything at all. Take me down and let me help you feel, feel who you are, who I am, what this world holds for you and I. Because darling, this world has so many books to read, but if you choose me then I'll choose you and we'll add a little more beauty and happiness and adventure to this world.

--P.A.

Pictures- Benjamin Francis Leftwich
Collide- Howie Day

Ask and Listen

Seek the people that have a feeling for beauty. Seek them and treasure them and let them talk to you about what they find unique and special.
Seek the boys that look for the light in things. Seek their light and hold it in your hands while they carefully spill their desires into your ears.
Seek the girls who are passionate. Seek them and grasp at them and hold them close and respect them, because sometimes they get so caught up in their passions that they get confused.

Seek the special things about people. The special parts of someone aren't going to be carefully written down on paper or broadcast to the world, you have to dig for them.
People aren't to be read like a book: to be read and then closed when you get to the end. Get them talking, listen fully.
Ask questions.
Listen.
Think about what they're saying and let yourself become addicted to the way their mind thinks as you follow them through their past to their present, all the way into their future. Dig for information, because sometimes, sometimes it's hard for someone to share what is really inside. The same questions, the same thoughts echo through their mind again and again and again:
Did you ever ask about my past? About who I am and how I got here? Did you ever ask about what I wanted for my future? My plans might have surprised you. I have big plans. I may seem unorganized, unmotivated, like I'm dumb and have no idea what I'm doing. Truth is, "I am not sure" is the easy, safe answer. I see now that I needed to take a risk, to show what really is on the inside, because you weren't going to dig for it. Was it because I wasn't worth the effort?

But everyone is worth some effort.
Everyone is of worth.
So treat them like it.

--P.A.




Songs of the day:
Young- Air Review
Now Is The Start- A Fine Frenzy
All About Us- He is We and Owl City
Cold December Night- Michael Buble

Beautiful Beneath

When this song first came out on the radio I was touched by its theme. Not enough people in this world truly look underneath to find the beauty in someone, and it's sad. Passenger's cover of the original is the most intimate and touching version I have yet found: I love it.

Every person you meet has multiple layers to who they are. That's not to say people can't have shallow or unpleasant layers, but still, they are more than just the outside. I know I am more than I appear. I mean, just look at me. Would you believe at first glace that I can eat a pizza all by myself? Probably not. Would you look at me and think "She is obviously passionate about Lord of the Rings." Yeah, I didn't think so. I'm not fat, nor do I speak elvish and prance around trying to kill the hosts of Mordor, and therefore am not directly associated with these oddities.
I digress.
Layers. That's what I was talking about.
People are beautiful beneath because they have layers, because they have personality, because they have depth. People are beautiful because they all smile at different things, because they all have a different way of forming sentences. Because they laugh and get upset and think and get excited about different things. Some kids get really excited about pizza at lunch, my brother gets excited when I come home. I get excited about a new box of crayons and the feeling of notebook pages covered in ink.
Every person loves differently, and it's beautiful. It's amazing how diverse this world is, how different we all are. And just because we're different doesn't make any one of us any less beautiful inside. Yes, I will admit some people are verifiably unappealing due to the way that they have decided to act or think. I know I have a very hard time looking at certain people and thinking they've got depth because the way that they think or act appears inherently shallow and annoying, but somewhere in the world there is someone that loves them and sees the beauty underneath. I just have to work harder on being able to see it myself.I want to look at others with a greater desire to see underneath what's on the outside.
The inside is where it gets interesting.

You tell all the boys "No"
Cause it makes you feel good, yeah.
I know you're out of my league
But that won't scare me away, no.

You've carried on so long,
You couldn't stop if you tried it.
You've built your wall so high
You thought that no one would climb it,
But I'm gonna try.

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?
Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl
I wanna see inside
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

You let all the girls go
Makes you feel good, don't it?
Behind your Broadway show
I heard a boy say, "Please, don't hurt me"

You've carried on so long
You couldn't stop if you tried it.
You've built your wall so high
You thought that no one would climb it.
But I'm gonna try

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?
Take it off now, boy, take it off now, boy
I wanna see inside
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, tonight?

I'm gonna climb on top your ivory tower
I'll hold your hand and then we'll jump right out
We'll be falling, falling but that's OK
'Cause I'll be right here
I just wanna know

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

Take it off now girl, take it off now boy
I wanna see inside
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

--P.A.

That gap between thought and word

Aporia.
The hushed wall that refuses to let but whispers pass through the miniscule cracks from its top to its bottom. The whispers swirl, mix, making it harder to hear the distinct words, the formed sounds more akin to the lull of instruments as they tune before their opening night.
It makes it hard you know,
it makes it really hard
to think
to differentiate
between one thought and the next thought and the next and the next.
Between one feeling and the next.

--P.A.

Meld

Swirling, dipping, buzzing
Movement without sound
Movement without word
Coordination
Sameness
Being one with each other

The ultimate goal
The ultimate achievement

They had it
Or they thought
That they had reached
The point where they could move
And twirl
And move
And jump
And they would be the same

Onlookers thought it mysterious
The way they melded
The way they knew
What the other was doing
What the other was feeling
They thought it was mysterious
They thought it was different
They thought it was scary.

It was scary.

--P.A.

Saw

Vivian blinked, breathed. But
She did not see.
Not what everyone else saw,
at least.
She saw the heartbeat, the essence.
They saw the clothes, the shoes, the hair, the face.
She could feel the person, feel their life.
They could only know the person on the outside.
The person that was showing only what they wanted to show.

Vivian blinked, breathed. But
She did not see.
She did not see what was inside of her.
She did not see what was.
Things she saw in others she couldn't
Understand:
Cunning thoughts
Manipulation
Lies
She did not know them in herself
She did not know them in him
She did not know them in them.

Vivian blinked, breathed. But
She could see.
The slight movements that predicated a jump
The intake of breath before a sentence
The shiver as two hands touched
It was all there.
She could see, feel.
The earth emitted a tremor
The air buzzed
And Vivian saw it all.

--P.A.

Never

Bent over, 
stretching to the toes
"How far can you bend without breaking?"
Silence
Because
there is no limit 
She will bend 
Never break

--P.A.

Can

I can be the pearls.
Strung on a thread,
Balanced on royal necks.

I can be shaped from the grain of sand,
Course and unrefined,
Into something of note.
Something of value.

You can be the precious stones,
The jagged edges cut,
Reflecting the inner light.

You can be seen,
Bright and beautiful and beaming,
Beheld by those appreciative.
Appreciative of beauty and brilliance and wonder.

--P.A.